The joy of music and friendship
Posted on 16th November 2024 at 14:22
In past blogs we have explored many of the benefits of music education and participation in music: brain development, self-expression, motor skills, collaboration skills, self-discipline as well as improving wellbeing.
This month, our Artistic Director, Maria Thomas, explores an element that isn’t often highlighted as a benefit of music participation – friendships.
She argues that participation in music - whether through playing music with others, or sharing an appreciation of music - can be an important way for us to form vital connections with other people.
Image: David Amann
Music making
I was lucky to grow up in a London borough that had an excellent music service, offering not just instrumental lessons in schools, but evening / Saturday morning ensembles, lessons at the music centre and opportunities for residentials and tours. I joined the “Woodwind Choir” junior band at the age of 10, and one of my fellow oboists is, all these decades later, still a very close friend. Having played together in this first ensemble, we progressed through the other ensembles – wind bands and orchestras – went on tours and played together in our school orchestra. A firm friendship was formed, and we enjoy reminiscing about various concerts, tours, tutors and friends from this time.
In my teens and early 20s, a favourite annual event was a wind band festival, hosted at the local university. Musicians would gather together for rehearsals all day Friday of the February half term, then we would have a final run-through on Saturday afternoon before the Saturday evening concert. The wind band had about 100 players with a wide range of ages and abilities – from those who had just started playing, to others who had retired from military bands. Friendships that began based on an annual meeting were later strengthened through summer trips to Eastbourne to play on the bandstand, and two tours to Germany.
Maria performing in a youth wind band.
Residential music courses were also a source of friendships. Although life can often get in the way of regular communication and meet-ups, the links formed on these courses have been so strong that sometimes, even if it is years before we meet again, that seed of friendship means conversations begin as though we saw each other last week.
Four years at music college developed strong bonds and shared experiences, and although many of us went our separate ways after graduation, those connections remain strong. And not just with people who attended college at the same time as me – the links to the tutors and buildings means meeting other alumni often leads to quickly formed friendships over reminiscences.
Friendships through music were no big surprise for me, as my parents had made strong friendships in their youth orchestra days. These bonds have endured for over 65 years through a mix of annual lunches, Christmas cards and letters, formal reunions, meeting for significant events, telephone calls and Zoom chats in lockdown - in addition to bumping into former youth orchestra members on the amateur music circuit. These friends are like extended family to me - people I have heard stories about and seen photographs of.
Professional friendships
Some of the MWC team celebrating 20 years of music workshops in 2022.
Alongside friendships formed through playing throughout my education, I have also been lucky enough to form strong connections in my professional life – though workshops and concert management. A challenging time on tour in one concert management role has led to a strong friendship with one of the musicians, where now we can laugh at what, at the time, seemed a bit of a disaster.
Many of the Music Workshop Company workshops are delivered solo. But when I get to collaborate with colleagues on a project, our love of music and joy at getting people to participate again builds strong bonds that remain outside of work.
Off Stage
Alongside the friendships made playing music, relationships have grown from being an audience member – primarily for me as a “Prommer” at the BBC Proms. I started attending the Proms regularly in the 1990s, getting day tickets and then season tickets for the Gallery. Since that time, the strong friendships formed have led to meet-ups outside the two-month Proms season.
And occasionally, there are friendships that overlap many of these experiences – that started at school, developed in various ensembles, were strengthened at college and visits to the Proms, and remain an important part of life.
Participation in music has many, many benefits. But for me, one of the most important, but often overlooked, benefits is the opportunity to meet, talk to and share music with others with the wonderful outcome of friendship.
Tagged as: BANDS, BBC PROMS, CONSERVATOIRE, FRIENDSHIP, MUSIC EDUCATION, ORCHESTRAS, YOUTH ORCHESTRA
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